Urban Renewal

happy september love birds. hope everyone enjoyed their labor day weekend. the weather was absolutely amazing! too bad i spent the entire holiday in the hospital. if you read my last post you know i had to take care of a medical issue. no i didn’t have a boob job as one of my friends wondered. i had a myomectomy, which is a fancy term for fibroid removal. for those who don’t know what fibroids are, i suggest you look into it, especially if you’re a woman and you’re black. like almost every other disease and ailment known to man, it affects black women more than anyone else. i’ll spare everyone the gory details. just know that fibroids are more annoying than anything and can cause much pain and discomfort. women can live with them for years and sometimes they grow to the size of grapefruits or larger. many women deal with fibroids via hysterectomy but because of my age and the fact that i have yet to have children, my gynecologist thought it best to remove the fibroids asap and preserve my ability to have children in the future. the surgery is not easy and can sometimes cause irreparable damage to the reproductive organs. however, mine went perfectly fine. my doctor called it one of the easiest myomectomies she’s ever done, partly because of my otherwise good health and how aggressive i was in making sure the issue was taken care of as soon as possible.

i absolutely despise being sick. my body is sensitive so anything little thing that’s “off” i feel it 10-fold. i’m like a nazi when it comes to healing my body, as i refuse to be pawn in the sick game (no pun intended) the medical field and pharmaceutical industry plays with people’s lives to keep their pockets fat. my attitude when going to the doctor is tell me what’s wrong and give me every possible alternative for getting the issue FIXED. i will not allow anyone to simply treat my symptoms with drugs–drugs that often cause more problems than you came to the doctor with. then you need more drugs to deal with the new side effects caused by the other drugs and blah blah blah. i’m not interested. my doctor is certified in homeopathic treatment and most of what i need to get back to normal comes right from whole foods supermarket.

no one really knows what causes fibroids but poor diet, stress, and a toxic environment all play a role in their forming and growth. so ladies if you live in the city, feed on fast food, and find yourself running around like a chicken with its head cut off, stressing about the daily bullshit of life, keep in mind that you could be putting yourself at risk for these tumors to invade your body. look out for things like painful, irregular periods, bloating in your pelvic area or anything that just doesn’t seem right. fibroids grow fast. in a year’s time mine went from being the size of a dime to the size of a baseball.

i don’t believe in accidents, happenstance, coincidence, etc. so i had to really ask myself what was going on with me that allowed these parasites to find a home inside my body and grow so fast. then i remembered a passage i read once in a book called the power of now that says “many illnesses are created through fighting against the cycles of low energy, which are vital for regeneration,” which basically means that resisting the “lows” of life (while being on the brink of obsession with achieving the “highs”) can cause your body to create an illness in order to force you to stop and take a look at what is really going on within. that was me. i was the queen of resistance. there was so much going on in my life–so many things i wasn’t satisfied with and i honestly believe that fighting against those things internally took a toll on my health. i really needed to chill and going through this process of diagnosis, surgery, and now healing definitely forced me to stop and listen to what my body was trying to tell me. the simple answer is to be more conscious of what’s going on around me and within me, accept that negative things have to be in order for positive things to be, and then let the negative things pass through me instead of holding them inside until they grow into dis-ease.

everyone knows me for being into clothes, shoes, makeup, and all things vanity. but i do believe in the importance of balance on a level far beyond the superficial. (in fact, i often joke that my life would be much easier if all i cared about were clothes and shoes.) in order to maintain that balance i have to take care of my mind, body, and spirit and i write this post as sort of a cautionary tale. don’t ignore the pain you feel, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional. deal with it. don’t let it fester and grow inside you. recognize it. accept it as a necessary part of life, then move on from it.

i’m off for the next 6 weeks to allow my body to heal and regenerate. not exactly the fabulous vacation i was hoping for, but i look forward to the upcoming weeks of rest and recuperation. it’s a great opportunity for me clear my head, rebuild my body, work on some things i wouldn’t otherwise have time for.

thanks family and friends for all the love and well wishes throughout this process. you are all making it super easy for me 😉


up next: fall pieces i die for


3 Responses to “Urban Renewal”

  1. you definitely had some good quotes in this blog. insightful as usual. luv ya.

  2. I know you are going to bounce back! I really loved the blog! I have fibroids myself. And I was told oh they are harmless. Im thinking if they are so harmless just remove them. That would be better. You really showed me to look into alternatives and to have them removed! Thanx!

  3. Really enjoyed this blog. Thanks for sharing your story with us and with women who really needed to hear it..

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